Wednesday 30 October 2013

Torn

I threatened to go public. The administrator closed the door, then asked me if I understood how serious that would be. I said I did, that I felt I'd been left with no other option. The administrator told me it would ruin me, as I'd signed confidentiality agreements. I said I didn't believe him, that they wouldn't cover whistle blowing, and even if they did, it'd be worth it. He started to speak, but I cut him off, telling him the public had a right to know about the expansion. I told him the best minds in the world ought to be working on the problem, with unlimited resources, not a bunch of so-called scientists working out of a single bunker.

The administrator listened to me rant. Then he told me to make a decision. He said that if I went public, I would destroy the research on the floors below; he said I'd only seen the tip of the iceberg, and that the researchers on the lower floors were close to a solution, but that their work would be difficult to sustain in the face of public scrutiny. He also said that because the work is so important, the facility wouldn't hesitate to discredit me, to present me as a fantasist. They wouldn't allow me to damage their work.

I'm torn. As far as I could tell, the administrator was telling the truth. There must be something going on below, some fragile, incomplete solution to the problem. I don't know if I dare risk it. I don't know what to do.

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