Wednesday 25 September 2013

Fail

I tried to get inside the crater. I failed.

I walked back to Victoria and watched it for a while. Every time I blinked, it would change. I watched it for about ten minutes, and the nausea I felt with every blink subsided, at least to some degree. I forced myself to cross the beach, and reached the point where the water began - when it was there, at least. I crouched down and dipped my hand into the water. It was deep, even right at the edge. I blinked. My wet hand dripped onto the bone dry sand below. I blinked again, and my hand was back in the water.

The circumstances anesthetised me. I felt as if I wasn't really in my body. I blinked the water away and walked down the decline, forcing my eyes to stay open. I stopped after a few yards and blinked. My chest seized up as the freezing water covered me to the shoulders. I started to lose my footing. I couldn't breathe. I blinked, and fell to my knees, keeping my eyes open as I crawled away from the water.

I lay on the beach, shivering. I had to turn away from Victoria; it was starting to make me sick again. I don't know how I'll get into the crater. It doesn't seem possible.

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