Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Sergei locked himself in his room today. My first thought was of what happened to Bob. Or what I thought had happened to Bob. I banged on Sergei's door. He slid it open and asked me what the problem was. I apologised and left him to whatever he was doing. It made me realise how on edge I am; I did some work to take my mind off it.

I roped Xi in to help me with my research into optical phenomena. She brought me a paper that she found on hallucinations. I thanked her, and said I'd look at it, but I was more interested in concrete occurrences. I put the paper into my desk drawer for later. I've hallucinated at least once since I got here, and my dreams about Bob are vivid.

The policy is that we can tolerate a certain amount of delusion in the researchers, but that serious problems have to be reported. This can result in the researcher being replaced. It's moot at the moment, as there's no one to replace me, but I'll keep my dreams to myself. It would only worry the other two.

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